Just got up from a nap.

I dreamt that while waiting for my Subway sandwich to get heated up, i noticed flames emerging from one of the metal frames at the counter. I alerted the counter staff and advised her to put out the flame immediately. To my horror, she jokingly said it was "nothing one la" and even held a naked flame(from an external source which looked like a some green spray can) to it. being pyrophobic(actually i just can't start a fire with anything but matchsticks and i will go crazy if i have to sit beside a gas tank), i ran out of the mrt station and in my mind i was imagining that that vent was connected to every gas pipe in the area and maybe the world. as i was running, i realised that everyone ran as well. I also overheard Wilber Pan(yes, the taiwan artiste) saying that he could "smell so much gas in the air". when i reached a traffic junction, there was a crowd of about 500 people trying to get across. i shouted to everyone, "IF YOU CAN'T GET FURTHER THAN THIS CROSSING JUST RUN TO YOUR LEFT OR RIGHT. SPREAD OUT HORIZONTALLY INSTEAD OF VERTICALLY!!! JUST GET AS FAR AWAY FROM HERE AS YOU CAN!!!" then i ran and i ran... i remembered thrusting 2 people forward along the way so that they would run faster.
It's not the first time that i have a dream like this.
and time and again, i have proven that i am the kind of person who would save myself first when a real disaster strikes. i can never be the hero that i want to be. i really only care about myself.(too much)

In my second dream, i joined a dance troupe and i told my 3 group mates that i couldn't dance at all. throughout the dream, i was following them around and i met other new friends. everyone was donning themed costumes complete with heavy make-up. everyone had their respective groups. i was wearing this really long beige dress and i tripped while i was walking down this flight of stairs and bumped into the wall beside me. i felt so uneasy and i felt that i was trying too hard. i was trying too hard to fit into a mould that was made for someone else. i could never express myself through dance and drama. it was tiring to just see people twirl around on the stage executing sleek/graceful moves. it was tiring to see people completely immersed in their own world, which was unfortunately, different from mine. it was tiring because i know that i can never achieve whatever standards that i set for myself in this troupe. i was desperately asking them if there were any other things i could do such as costume designing, prop designing or logistics. then, it ended.
i never got around to knowing how i would have dealt with being in that world and/or being the weakest being there.
well, i do know a lot about being the weakest link,
but that will be another blog post.