so 2010 finally came to an end.
the past three years have been the worst 3 years of my life.
setback after setback after setback. all of which were but the results of my actions.

just a couple of days ago, i was looping this korean song(i have bad music taste, i only listen to male singers/groups/bands ...) on the music player while on the train.
as i closed my eyes and thought back about whatever that i have encountered, all that came to my mind was all the regret, the guilt and then the regret again.
i hate being an underachiever, i hate being the one whom no one would expect to ever succeed.
even my closest friends think that it is a given if i fail.
it would be a miracle if i succeed.
i don't want to live like that anymore.
i've been saying this for the longest time but it's true.
i desperately want myself to change but yet, i am not sure if i can really do that.
i refuse to believe that this is what i am capable of.
this may be my limit, the furthest that i can go.
but i will never admit it.

this time round i will stop thinking so far ahead.
i will stop complaining about being in a course that i dislike.
i will shut the fuck up.