it's been a week since i sprained my ankle.

i BLOODY HATE TO GET SPORTS INJURIES.
i have never gotten any other injury except for a toe injury which was inflicted by this other player when she jumped on my toe during a tackle.
that took about two weeks to completely heal.
and the only thin i couldn't do was shoot with my right foot.

mike!
now i can't make a decent pass with my left foot, can't tilt it inwards to control before passing, can't shuffle properly uneven ground, can't shoot or cross with my left foot, etc etc
whenever i hear that someone sprained his/her ankle, i didn't think it was that serious.
i thought that it would heal in a couple of days but dammit NO.
my friend told me that it takes bloody long to completely heal.
and zzzzzzzzzzz

mikeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i want to see a sinseh


so 2010 finally came to an end.
the past three years have been the worst 3 years of my life.
setback after setback after setback. all of which were but the results of my actions.

just a couple of days ago, i was looping this korean song(i have bad music taste, i only listen to male singers/groups/bands ...) on the music player while on the train.
as i closed my eyes and thought back about whatever that i have encountered, all that came to my mind was all the regret, the guilt and then the regret again.
i hate being an underachiever, i hate being the one whom no one would expect to ever succeed.
even my closest friends think that it is a given if i fail.
it would be a miracle if i succeed.
i don't want to live like that anymore.
i've been saying this for the longest time but it's true.
i desperately want myself to change but yet, i am not sure if i can really do that.
i refuse to believe that this is what i am capable of.
this may be my limit, the furthest that i can go.
but i will never admit it.

this time round i will stop thinking so far ahead.
i will stop complaining about being in a course that i dislike.
i will shut the fuck up.