today after dog time, i was casually checking my hotmail inbox while waiting for the train.
then i saw a reply from my lecturer, whom i had sent an email to on sunday regarding a tutorial question.
the first sentence was "If you're doing programming for the first time, then I'm very
impressed!.. 8-)".
totally made my day.
i think i haven't been praised for handing in decent work in a really long time.
it's been such a long time that it came as a shock to me.
interestingly and very unexpectedly, cs1010 has been my favourite module ever since i completed my very first online assignment.
so far, tutorials can be so engaging that it is no longer a chore.
of course, i am still struggling with this module, but i'm glad that i got a chance to study this module.
thinking back, it was actually my most dreaded module.

as Nick Vujicic said,"you cannot afford to give up... "

i am a cygwinner!


(anw walao everytime i like a subject i always end up doing damn badly for it lor wtf.)


damn
i don't even have to close my eyes and i can smell that familiar 'scent'.
i don't even need pictures to remember how they look like.
i will never forget the warmth of their furry bodies and the wet licks they gave.


it's 5am in the morning now.

guess what i was doing besides slacking online at the usual sites and watching King of Baking?
CYGWIN.
i can't believe myself either.
actually i thought i was damn smart and i just starting coding the answer to this tutorial question without doing any planning. the entire thingy failed, needless to say HAHA
but then no, i ain't no quitter on and off the field YO.
i went back to the lecture notes and tried the mind-mapping thingy that the lecturer taught us.
my answer is still pretty long winded but HOLY COW, i fucking got the desired output and i feel damn accomplished.
. so good night.
enough of slacking on friday and saturday...
tomorrow i gotta catch up on all the online tutorials. dammmmmmmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn

I LOVE CYGWIN!


i must not be the bastard that i was a year ago.
i mustn't.


i think if there's one module in which i have no idea what i am doing or going to do, it would have to be...


*drumrolls........


MATHS MA1505??



WRONG . beeeep.


it's programming)::::


Today i saw how i looked like when i quit.
It was an ugly sight.
I looked weak, i looked like a loser.
The flame that was supposed to be burning vigorously was nowhere in sight.
No, this is not me.
...it will never be.


this morning i went to see my dearest whippet after school.
because she who reads this blog told me that he was returned AGAIN.
damn it.
ARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(GROAN)

he's so lovable that i had to queue up to enter his kennel.
anyway today was the first time whippet curled up between my legs and let me rub his belly.
those piercing grey eyes of his...
i think he wants to know why too,
why am i back in this place?
what did i do wrong?

anw razzy was shifted to the front, the very first kennel.
i totally missed him and went to the back, only to discover manly montana in his kennel.
and when i went back to the front he had this super cute look on his face and he was wagging his tail and jumping up.
like "OI, i'm here la, where the f are you going?!"
ok that's it for today.

tomorrow, or rather today, it's either i make it or i break it man.


i have a bad feeling about this man.


maybe i should just back away from this and admit that i can never do it.
i can never achieve the standards that i have set for myself.

the only thing i can offer is a pair of legs governed by an undying spirit.


i think putting yourself in situation whereby you have to make new friends and strike up conversations with strangers to get to know them better makes you treasure your good friends more.
over the past two days, i've been thinking a lot about my good friends and how easy it is to talk to them.
then i started thinking about how difficult it was to build that friendship with them.
I feel so comfortable with these friends that the real me can only be seen when i'm with them.

sometimes i feel that there are just too many brick walls between us.
and then sometimes, i am too lazy to demolish them.
worst of all, i build more of them.