i was suggesting to some of my close friends that we indulge in gaming after a levels.
and the choice of game?
EVONY
let's play evony people!!!!
HAHAHA
because we are attracted to their racy advertisements with pictures of heavily photo-shopped women with cup z bra sizes!


so yesterday i was browsing through all the photos that i have.
too bad in sec 3 my computer crashed and
every.single.file.was.deleted.
or not, there would be much more to see.
anyways, here's a collection of what i deem as the worst pictures of the otherwise extremely cool and hunky emily lim.
but before that, please, if you do not wish to see what exactly is in this collection,
do not allow your eyes to drift beyond the full-stop of this sentence.






apparently, my attempt at acting stunned failed. horribly.
instead, with my extremely sore right eye, i managed to look like
1. a man
2. a perverted man
3. a perverted man with a sore eye
4. a perverted man with a sore eye who is contemplating whether or not he should rape whoever is standing on the right hand side of the camera-man




if i had known that they would be taking pictures of EVERY athlete and print EVERY athlete an official certificate WITH their photo on it,
i would never take off my shorts after the bike leg and proceed to complete the running part with only my swimsuit on and a race belt with a race tag attached.
thank God the race tag covered my jiggly bottoms as i ran to save me from further embarrassment.
basically, i think i look like a wolf.
and with those elf-like ears of mine, i look like a WELF.
that's what you get when you cross-breed a wolf and an elf.
ok that seems sexually weird.
(this photo is in fact far better than the one on my certificate because the one on my certificate is so clear that you can count the number of strands of hair that make up my eyebrows. ok that's an exaggeration.)
(i realised that i was rather lean 3 years back, as a result of intensive swimming, biking and running. as for now, i think i might tear that swimsuit if i try it on again)




this picture downright pwns the collection IF it were clear and big enough.
i apologise for not being able to provide you with a better picture so that you can count the number of strands in my eyebrow.
if you really would like to do so, you can purchase the photo at www.sportsphotox.com
this is bad because i really look like a grizzly bear.





'bonus happy photo to neutralise all the negativity.
just wanted to share this because i thought it was rather interesting that i decided to smile at the camera when i saw the camera man.
ok so i realised that its not very interesting after all.
whoopz





a few years ago, the management committee of a condominium hired me because they needed to create the above sign.
yep, so basically i was asked to flaunt my chocolate abs and majestic crotch area wear different types of swimming trunks and they would take pictures of me.
i thought the blue trunks made me look hot.
but the flame-print tights?!
and the giraffe-print tights?!
ok the flame print tights totally clashed with my skin tone and it looked as if i have volcanic lava on me.
as for the giraffe-print tights...
i understand that leopard preens and zebra preens are the 'in' thing right now, but giraffes?
give the animal a break man
plus: its chocolate-coloured, and hence it would draw the attention away from my chocolate abs :(

actually i have a lot of other bad pictures. but they just don't seem bad enough
as in whether they are bad pictures or not is rather contentious, and there might be divided opinions.
those i have put up are those that are clearly BAD.


Here's what would happen if my respective subject teachers took over my body during the 'A' level examinations.

Mr Lim:
I would be kicked out 10 minutes into the paper because i was caught humming while solving the questions.
Perhaps they thought the tune i was humming to was the 2009 version of Morse code that i used for cheating purposes.

Mr Goh:
Since it is a 3 hour paper, at the 2 hour mark, i would have completed 2 case studies and 2 essays AND picked the better essay out of the 2 to be submitted.
Yes, i would have sufficient time to do 2 essays.
Next, i would raise my hand, hand up my paper to the examiner, pack my bag, leave by taking the LONGEST route out of the classroom and give my best ever smirk as i pass by the 30 other people who take H1 economics.
Might include the action of dramatically swinging my bag over my right shoulder.

Ms Chua:
I wouldn't make a single mistake.
My paper might actually end up as the marking scheme itself.
The markers would be wondering if they should open up classes for H4 mathematics.

Mrs Poon:
My answers would be neat as hell heaven.
Every answer would be exactly what they want to see. No more, no less.
Hence, full marks?

Don't know what to think of my GP teacher, so let's just assume Ms Champagne is my teacher(i wish!)

Ms Champagne:
I would be drinking champagne after the examinations to celebrate my ultimate ownage and look forward to receiving letters from SPH and the Faculty of Law.

Well,
i hope all the above happens.
Like what Debbie said today,
i feel that the moment i start taking the exams on tuesday,
i am destroying my dreams.

LET'S GO LET'S GO