this song makes me melt.!
oyeah do you think i should change to a layout which can accommodate larger picture sizes in blog posts HAHA
holyshit! anyway today i was frustrating over nothing...
apparently sh didnt reply my message so i assumed she was pissed, but in actuality, it was just that her phone was slightly schizophrenic...
i ended up brooding over a dilemma that was basically non-existent.
anyway, i ended up going for team dinner instead of going mp3 hunting.
initially i was rather moody because i kept thinking of sipei niang and jm.
BUT(tocks! ahaha), (rofl that was shit lame) when we played the usual mini game, wow, i thought to myself:
the joy i got from playing football that day > mp3-hunting.
because of the 1 hour or so we spent playing, i felt that the choice i (mistakenly)made was worth it man.
dinner was fine, bursts of laughter every now and then.
the funniest part for me was when the milo ice kosong came.
WTFFFF INSIDE JOKE ROFLMAO
and aud and leena saying someone in the table behind looks like kyuhyun.
you know when i turned around to say i still haven't seen the person's face yet and they laughed,
i seriously thought they laughed because i was funny... ... ... ...
and vans laughter is... just never fails to amuse me whenever she responds to only a specific category of jokes. LMAO.

what would have happened if i had gone mp3-hunting instead?
well i will know that next week hehe

last one.
it's not the first time it's happened.
during a soccer gathering, if initially i was moody and didnt feel like going, when i eventually turned up for it, it always ended up being great fun.

last last one
since last week, i've been appreciating my class and treasuring my friendships with my classmates more and more. well, i can say that as the days go on (and the time we have left together shortens), i grow fonder and fonder of some of the people in the class. i learnt to look beyond their flaws, to bring smiles to their faces (at the expense of my image(eh bro, you got image meh?)(sorry, ridiculous self-talk)) and to be less myopic about certain stuff.

finally:
most importantly, after reading wong yann's blog, from yesterday onwards,
i have finally come to terms with who i am born to be, what i can and what i cannot do.
i learned to accept that we are all individuals with a myriad of personalities and abilities.
no, i am not giving up on my dreams and aspirations. i am merely getting prepared lest i fall short of them.
it was quite painful to have these thoughts, and i spent dinnertime eating alone at the dining table in the kitchen, with only my food and a photo of my grandparents.
i figured that if i wanted to help and save, i can do it in many other ways, though it wouldnt as effective and fulfilling as my ambition, of course.
Noble's oblige.
those two words i learned from an anime.
and while i have abated my hopes of going to yllsom,
i have not abandoned them.
because i trust that if i search deep enough, i will find A within me.
and hence my belief in noble's oblige.

looking back on last year,
looking for a private coach on my own
despearately searching the web for a coach for the team
attending external trainings,
going back to school once in the night just to use the field
training at the yew tee field at night
watching videos, pausing and repeating them to engrave those moves in my mind
watching tutorials to try to equip myself with the basics
relying on connections to get an external coach
pressing mr sham for answers to 'so whos our coach'
practising like a piece of shit for my corners
climbing double steps with only my left leg to strengthen it till it became a habit
resorting to calling up those who wrote their names on the list to explain our situation

though i ended up disgracing myself in the end when it mattered most,
i can say that i am a devoted, passionate, dedicated and shameful player.

wth , cant believe that its almost a complete train of thoughts.
havent blogged like this in a long time
i bought teenage!!!
edit// just read shs blog, HAHAHA the own goal, damn funny sorry for passing with bad angle
knowin you were so near to the post but you have to admit it was fking funny