i am not on hiatus.
i just lost the urge to go online.
theres nothing here to hold me back anymore i guess.sighs
so many things have happened.
thanks so much to piangs for that amazing lecture, really made me quit my shopping habit.
nows left with tv.
anyway this week.
well
sometimes i really think i handle problems well.
maybe not academics but well. problems. problems that no one knows.
i think one of you know half the story.
but never mind thats not the point.
so llm said i was lazy.
i wasnt angry with her at all.
i am thankful. finally someone is pushing me. someone is telling me im lazy. someone elder. someone more experienced,
that snapped me back to reality. the reality that the os are coming and theres no way to procrastinate. sometimes when i stone, i keep imagining myself doing last minute work.
the past few days , sighs, the teachers are already starting to drill us.
how do i find the time for revision.
and this week i disappointed myself yet again.
i guess ive let myself down too many times that i feel numb.
for the first time in 2007 in mr ngs maths lesson, HI MR NG.
i slept throughout the lesson. for a whole one hour. cant believe myself. felt super guilty. but who cares? you cant retrieve the milk you spilled, you can only clean up the mess.
and make sure you dont spill again.
i tried, today.
ever since the attachment, when i was told mr ng had started on relative velo, i constantly reminded myself to revise on my own, because i know my mental capacity for amaths is like uh, the size of a pinhead.
i hate amaths! fhjlskjflsjfl that bitchy subject. nvm
anyway today, since mr ng was doing a question out on theboard, i decided to copy it down in my notebook. it was so difficult for me to put the pencil to the paper.
so difficult for me to tell myself not to sleep. so difficult for me not to tell myself to go home and and revise and sleep now even though i know i wont revise.
sighs.
anyway it was that one question.
my first contact with relative velo, my first blind date with relative velo.
and through that one question, i understood the concept.
it was so difficult to lift my head up after it just thumped on the table.
but i raised my hand and asked for help.
see sometimes you really need someone, HI MR NG.
though we were told to attempt another question and i didnt,
at least i know what hes talking about, even if i dont do the examples and just listen.
oh amaths
were we rivals in our pasts lives?
was the hatred so great that the hatchet cant be buried?
at least i made a effort.
and today we received some postcard from great eastern womens 10km informing us of the upcoming annual race in october.
and wth! i felt the woman in the postcard reaching her hand out to give me a double slap.
yet she pleaded with me to wake up
vivid memories of last years race flooded my mind.
it felt like just yesterday.


to me,
find grace
find faith
& youll have the strength.

soccer!!!!!!!;kf; sdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdl f;lsl;kdf; lkdl;fkl; kj gfp jlklg fjkl gj kfhgjkdg
let me release my pent-up emotions!
for behind my cheerful facade, i am actually tired.
let me lie on your shoulder

okay the above post sounds a wee bit weird.
suddenly feel slightly poetic.
zah nvm nvmvcmxljlksdjfkljdsfljdlv k