SO ITS A LAZY SATURDAY AFTER NOON.
i set my alarm at 1030am bu t woke up at 12.30 am.
ah, expected.
okay so i have two chem assignments and one bio assignments.
realised i could be slacking my entire weekend away if i did them on time.
just me.
i guess i really aways see things coming when they are about too, or they already came
just now, after trading spouses there was this movie.
the parents were about to send this cute old man, who is the father of the mum, to an old folks home.
i watched it for awhile not because its nice, but because i saw my grandparents in him.they say old people dont talk with company, theyre just glad to know that someones there, just want the company.
no point saying how much i regret, because i dont think its of any use, but whenever i think of anyth related to how lame and idiotic the way i treated them , i feel sad all over,
hey im not trying to act nice or gain sympathy ya.

i guess we all know the feeling of missing something only when weve lost them.
of knowing to cherish what we once had
of how to hold on to the good old times
of how to relive those memories
of thinking back and realising that it happened and will never happen again
but even so, there is the sorrow of knowing that all is gone

trainings . no more of them.
is that why i feel so very empty now?
or is it because i am letting something that i dont think will ever affect me affect me?


this week was great! wonderful!
apart from the fact that heritage day is driving me nuts.
i just hope we can stick to our 76 dollar budget for food deco and equipment.
yeah
highly doubt so though.
nonetheless, i reckon it will be real fun.
BECAUSEW IRONTWELVE IS WEARING THE SAME COSTUME!
SHANT SAY WHAT.
BUT THE MAIN POINT IS TO LOOK ALIKE
AND YAY WE HAVE A TEAR DROP THANKS TO ME!
MUAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
WOOPEE WOOP!after speech day today, nono hiongy moo and i went to arab street, i thought there were costume sthere yes but quite ex.
so we cabbed to ---!
woopee I LOVE SHOPHOUSES
POSIFDLSFLKJSDF I LOVE C TOWN
I LOVE C TOWN
OKAY, anyway, we found this shop and spent alot of time there.
176 dollars yeah for eleven prokias.
damn cool right
just like me ya
zahh
anyway we walked till we were damn f tired.
and linkin park was like dam f thirsty
and when i went home i realised that i have a little blister on the sole of my feet.
andyway we were approached by people doing island chase . something like an amazing race. did henna twice, for moo thrice hahaha
because one of their challenges was to get a stranger to be henna-ed .
zah. karen was the only one who said thanks!
zah nvm
used to it.heh

anyway thursday played soccer'
lf'polf'klsd'f
woopee
and after pe when we were in class, i told jan i feel like taking extra lessons.
so we ran down to ask the teacher
heh and she was so nice.!!!
so monday morning here i come!
opoqw[powqe[a
even if im not good at it, i dont give a hoot.
and in friday amaths remedial for f9 pupils
heh.
greatest accomplishment in amaths for me, i completed like 6qs successfully with help from moo and santa ng HI MR NG.
at a go.i felt pretty focused.
sighs i guess the pace is too f ast in class, and there are too many distractions, so i always end up doing other things.
lsdkdsa
anyway yay
and on friday night,
i was playing my mini soccer ball in my room then i created so much noise my mom nagged.
so my dad suddenly came into my room and said, wanna go down to play
so we did yay
at the void deck and right in front of the no kicking of balls sign
yeah feels a lot like when i was in primary school and we kept booking courts at the cc to play badminton.
ah sometimes i really cannot imagine myself like going to a performing arts cca or uniformed groups.
ERHEM actually i ERHEM also know that im talented at sports la but,
OK JKJK
i just cant do anyth else,nah nvm, its just fun to play
like badminton and soccer and bball
and of course it takes a lot to run (:

should i be firm?
i cant bear to
guess im not cut out for the job


4bidden's rescue mission;
ACCOMPLISHED.

AH TODAY PDP
glh gave us a pep talk on our atitude and stuff. i totally agree with her. i feel that she is not unreasonable at all. in fact im damn glad she gave that speech.
afetr which we played zong zi mi ma and pop quiz
damn fun
than we had a qiang da session where they had to snatch the marker on the teachers desk. f funny la.
glhs marker case dropped like twice make me laugh like a toot.
damn hiong la.
okay so after that there were winners. so i have to go buy chocolates for them tmr.
and anyw after the game when we all settled down, i suggested to play blind mice and it was successful yipee yoohoo! ( okay those last tow words remind me of huimin)
damn funny la
its just damn fun
there was this moment i was at the teachers table uh HIDING. in the dark i saw xiaopeng fiddling around trying to grab hold of anyone but uh everyone was gone. i felt like crying. i dontknow if i really love this class or what.
i really dont know. but the truth is, like what glh said, we only have five weeks. wtf la okay'
my eyes felt watery but of course i held them back. i mean its just weird to cry now.
its just you know, a wave of emotions swept past me, the scene in front of me was so happy, everyone really just let their hair down, oblivious to the approaching os. even if it is just for a mere fifteen minutes it felt good. i felt warm all over
so thank you.
dont know everyone feels that way, but its comforting to know that at least some do.
sighs i feel so warm all over again
five weeks?
the end is nearing so treasure all youve got and forget everything unhappy.
i feel so old.
ive been asking this quite a number of times.
dont you realize that sec4s faces seem to be duller and slightly decolourised? like theyve lost their vibrancy or something.
unless their in love or they put make-up, thats how yall look to me.
and how i see myself.

today chrislyn blessed me.
i asked for forgiveness.
not for myself okay yes.
but more for those whom ivebeen uber bad to
to person one. sorry for being a bitch to you in sec one and sec two.
ive feel so fked up whenever i think of how i treated you. i dont mind if you still bear a grudge because i really deserve it,
i totally misjudged you.
im was such a bastard in the past. i hope you know who you are. but i think you wont read this anyway. so there. sorry
though we are fine now, i just hope that youve really forgiven me deep down inside.
actually i dont mind is youve not.
yeah
just sorry


i am not on hiatus.
i just lost the urge to go online.
theres nothing here to hold me back anymore i guess.sighs
so many things have happened.
thanks so much to piangs for that amazing lecture, really made me quit my shopping habit.
nows left with tv.
anyway this week.
well
sometimes i really think i handle problems well.
maybe not academics but well. problems. problems that no one knows.
i think one of you know half the story.
but never mind thats not the point.
so llm said i was lazy.
i wasnt angry with her at all.
i am thankful. finally someone is pushing me. someone is telling me im lazy. someone elder. someone more experienced,
that snapped me back to reality. the reality that the os are coming and theres no way to procrastinate. sometimes when i stone, i keep imagining myself doing last minute work.
the past few days , sighs, the teachers are already starting to drill us.
how do i find the time for revision.
and this week i disappointed myself yet again.
i guess ive let myself down too many times that i feel numb.
for the first time in 2007 in mr ngs maths lesson, HI MR NG.
i slept throughout the lesson. for a whole one hour. cant believe myself. felt super guilty. but who cares? you cant retrieve the milk you spilled, you can only clean up the mess.
and make sure you dont spill again.
i tried, today.
ever since the attachment, when i was told mr ng had started on relative velo, i constantly reminded myself to revise on my own, because i know my mental capacity for amaths is like uh, the size of a pinhead.
i hate amaths! fhjlskjflsjfl that bitchy subject. nvm
anyway today, since mr ng was doing a question out on theboard, i decided to copy it down in my notebook. it was so difficult for me to put the pencil to the paper.
so difficult for me to tell myself not to sleep. so difficult for me not to tell myself to go home and and revise and sleep now even though i know i wont revise.
sighs.
anyway it was that one question.
my first contact with relative velo, my first blind date with relative velo.
and through that one question, i understood the concept.
it was so difficult to lift my head up after it just thumped on the table.
but i raised my hand and asked for help.
see sometimes you really need someone, HI MR NG.
though we were told to attempt another question and i didnt,
at least i know what hes talking about, even if i dont do the examples and just listen.
oh amaths
were we rivals in our pasts lives?
was the hatred so great that the hatchet cant be buried?
at least i made a effort.
and today we received some postcard from great eastern womens 10km informing us of the upcoming annual race in october.
and wth! i felt the woman in the postcard reaching her hand out to give me a double slap.
yet she pleaded with me to wake up
vivid memories of last years race flooded my mind.
it felt like just yesterday.


to me,
find grace
find faith
& youll have the strength.

soccer!!!!!!!;kf; sdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdlsdl f;lsl;kdf; lkdl;fkl; kj gfp jlklg fjkl gj kfhgjkdg
let me release my pent-up emotions!
for behind my cheerful facade, i am actually tired.
let me lie on your shoulder

okay the above post sounds a wee bit weird.
suddenly feel slightly poetic.
zah nvm nvmvcmxljlksdjfkljdsfljdlv k