i realised that the determined part of myself has been replaced by maturity.
not all but most of it.
Enough to make me stop for a time trial.
It's like runnign and running and running.
when we were on the grass patch aftr cover more than half the distance, i asked myself, did i really wanna take part in competitions?
can i really make it?
then i stopped.
i was searching from an answer.
30-40 seconds i took to think.
Yes i do.
&i ran again.
Miraculously keeping the same pace as before.
but of cos, falling behind the rest.
i was the sixth runner, in other words, the last among the sec2 girls.
&if i hadnt stop, i would be around Karen's time, maybe even faster.
Cos all the while we had trainings at macritchie i sprinted for the last part to train for it.
Disappointment.
Disappointed in myself.
why the phhking hell did i stop?
cos im not determined enough.
i didnt go for it.
but next time trial, chen kaige is gonna go for it.

phk me
phk chen kaige.

But emily lim will get her determination back.
She got it back now.